Slipknot

Lead to a trip to the hospital & me thinking I was going to die...

So... Disneyland, ay?

We get to Disneyland. Eat some chocolate, not very innocent chocolate but innocent enough I thought. Started to feel high, no problems. Walked around. Got Space Mountain fast passes, went on Buzz Lightyear. Alone. Went to get in line for the Matahorn. Started not feeling to great. Decided not to go on. Was alone. It started getting bad when I needed my wallet. Got my wallet, some how. Some how bought pop corn and water without really knowing I did. Started going in and out of the real world. Started to freak the fuck out. Hoping that I was dreaming all this. Sat down, people asking if I was ok. Trying to call Vanessa. Having someone else trying to call Vanessa. Seeing them get off the ride, yelling at them to help me. People just kept talking, I didn't know what was happening. Drinking water kept me in the real world. Greg was there talking to people. Security, nurse, wheel chair. Me asking if I was going to die. To tell Brady and Kenny that I loved them. & my mom that I was sorry and that I loved her, my brother and my sister, when I said my sister I got upset. Not knowing if the nurse was real, so I touched her face. Still thinking I was going to die. Greg's heart beat calming me down. Greg's hand shaking. Me asking about Vanessa, getting mad that she wasn't there. sitting in the wheelchair, taking my heart rate, thinking they were taking blood. "I paid 97 dollars to be here, can't I just go home" Being taken to first aid, Greg telling me to sleep, trying to talk to me about Slipknot. Some woman in my face being a bitch, me asking if she cared she said she has a daughter my age, which made me cry. My heart rate at 180. Being taken to the ambulence. The ambulence guy being so nice, and cute. I kept telling him he was good at his job. That he was cute. That I wish we meet under better circumstances. Him and the other guy talking about facial hair and how they can't grow any. Being given my first IV. Telling them that Kenny wanted nothing to do with me any more. Them telling me he's not worth it. Being taken to the hospital. Being stripped in front of a cute guy. Telling them to stop till he leaves and the lady telling me he's a professional and me saying, "but he's still cute". Watching the news, thinking of my mom. Another IV. A whole bunch of sticky things getting attached to my body. Texting Brady and Kevin that I was in the hospital. No answer from either. Taking pills. Peeing in a cup. Answering questions. Throwing up on the bed. Saying sorry. Greg coming in. Being let go. Waiting for Vanessa. I think we went to McDonalds and I barely remember eating. Sleeping or trying to sleep. Vanessa driving. Me being scared. Getting off the freeway, I think Vanessa went the wrong way. Getting out of the car. Falling into bed. Telling Brady to call me when he was out of class. He did but I was knocked out by then. Waking up at 7 something. Telling my mom. Texting Kevin who still never said anything to me. Crying,

So I've just been sleeping and crying all day. Trying to make sense of everything. Brady has been there all day for me. Making me feel better. Kevin has been yelling at me and he told me it would be a lie if he told me if he cared it I was ok. Crying now that I'm thinking that he really didn't care if I lived or died. I still feel out of it. Like I keep tying shit wrong and feel like shit. The IV bandage is hurting me but I'm too scared to take it off cause it's bloody.

I swear I never want chocolate or weed ever again. Even though they kept saying it was laced with something else.

Please if you read this, don't judge me. This was not who I am, or ever will be. If you're going to be mean please don't say anything. I've heard it all in the past 24 hours.

I'll go back to sleep now.