Slipknot

just digging through my blogs and i found some stuff i wrote. have fun and enjoy.

Warning: there are a lot. : )

A Predator posing as a House pet

she’s the girl with the spreadable legs. wandering from guy to guy, just a tourist in their life. she whispers everything that sounds so perfect... they can’t help but give her the attention she desperately craves. she clings to it like a scared child. nails digging in to the skin, heart beats racing. blood pumping, bursting through the veins. she catches her breath and gets dressed. rolling over, she goes to sleep. she’s gone in the morning like the night sky, never to be heard from again. all that remains are shattered feelings, distant hopes and dreams of something more. she is the girl that every guy wants and fears. she is a predator posing as a house pet. the girl with the spreadable legs

Alone

all these sharp daggers in my back are making me bleed. the crimson flows from the holes of deceit. trust broken like a shattered glass on the floor. retreat to a comforting place, somewhere I can collect the pieces and re-assemble myself. but where has it gone? I can't find my home, I can't find myself... disappear into the black, cold hearted world. tears fall silently and screams cannot be heard. rip apart the empty body, set free the soul and spirit from its pain. why exist if you're considered worthless? doors slam shut. pieces and chunks fall away. it's hard to hold it all together when loneliness is your only friend. wishing someone would lend a hand, just a bit of help, no one ever comes and soon, everything falls apart crushing what was left of your hope and faith. crying amung the rubble, you whisper... ... who needs enemies when you have friends.

Break the Broken

in the winding down hours that's when you'll find me lying on the hard, fridgid floor... clinging tragically to the last of my teen angst. scars from years past begin to bleed. violent red tears rolling down my ice white cheeks. candles burning without flames surround me. closing my eyes, i let out silent screams. my hopelessly lost and tortured soul begging to be set free, free from this battered and bruised shell. black clouds roll in covering red skies of sorrow and pain. angels cry for me, the devil turns away. forgotten and damned by the unspoken words. constantly haunted by regrets and mistakes. guarded by a barbed wire wall. you can't get hurt falling out of nothing how can you break whats' already been broken? disguising fear in a cloak of pain, escaping a world of rage through burst of agony, hiding under a blanket of smiles and laughter. the world not allowed to see the tears i've cried. every person with something to gain from me bleeding throws needles and daggers at my motionless body. a single strike pushes me closer to the edge... watch as i fall from grace, shortly reaching an unmarked grave. the lid slams shut as i am gone forever. read my headstone with shock and a feeling of betrayal for here lies a girl with a blissless black heart and a broken smile.

The Truth, I Think

you say i'm special, amazing and perfect well that simply cannot be true. in my eyes and in my words you can find dirty flaws and imperfection. wonderful, no, something much less, maybe even nothing ... pay no mind to me as i walk by. i am just a smudge on the white world, the stain on your shirt, the gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. i have never truly been loved and i can't see the changing. so tell me how a smudge is beautiful? how can you love a smudge? ... how can you love me?

Invisible Me

you think you see me... a beautiful girl, dazzling eyes, daring dimples but what you don't see is... me. i'm walking in the light but i'm hiding in the shadows. worthless to every eye upon me, wishing to only be seen. why should you care? you don't even notice i'm there. sometimes jumping and screaming for attention, other times i just sit with my head down... knowing what will come, nothing. a life full of hurt and tears, fake smiles and non-exsistent love. just a constantly bared soul and heart. so maybe, if you would just close your eyes you might feel me touch you. i could touch your heart ... or maybe not ...

Say Goodnight

soaring through bleeding skies on broken wings, every inch of me covered in blue blood. memories bringing me closer to where I don't want to be, amung those who really don't care to know me. blank stares and empty faces, disembodied voices haunting my every thought. my ears bleed from the horrible noise, yelling only demands at me. they tell me to come closer, only wanting to grab me and drag me down, keeping me stuck in this hell of a life. every memory brings me closer to their out stretched arms. if the past carries me down, the future must raise me higher. find thoughts of where I want to go, what I want to see through all the gray, through all my tear-filled eyes and rainy skies. I must find the happier side of what's to come. push my broken wings just a little more. get away from all my despair and pain and get back to my bleeding skies once again. a place where I can be myself... ...myself covered in blue blood.

Anything but Perfect

purple skies and pink clouds, blue grass and yellow trees. the world i wish i knew. everything fair and true, only exsisting in perfection. perminent smiles, tearless eyes, bulletless guns, dull blades. nobody harmed, hearts unbroken... never knowing the pain of love. life almost nonexsistant. co-ensiding with one another in a blissful, fictional world ignorant to what life truly could be. without the bad, good isn't good. the sour makes the sweet even sweeter. tears are supposed to fall. smiles were meant to frown. life was made to be hard. so hold on tight, you're in for one hell of a ride.

Untitled

Hello, my name is Dead to You. so many things you'll never know. should have taken the time, gotten to know me... seen the soul that is kept hidden in this body of mine, this cover that you could not see past. always an arms length away, you never brought me in. was I that horrible? you could't bare to see yourself with me. all I wanted was to feel your arms around me, protecting me. I waited here, for you. I never heard you scream my name. I cried tears of black until I was hollow inside. you were never there. was anyone really ever there? could anyone ever want me? have I ever been needed? will someone love me...

                                please?

Last night in my body

sleeping with a smile. open eyes and get up, feeling overwhelmed and depressed. walk to the bathroom, hands in fists, solemn stare. look in the mirror, into myself. get lost in my eyes, my thoughts. glance down at my right hand, unfold fingers, drop a razor blade to the counter... a temporary fix to the pain. glance at my left hand, unfold fingers, drop a handfull of sleeping pills to the counter... a perminent fix to the pain. look back to the mirror, into myself. get lost again and panic- shut my eyes, scream and drop my head, open my eyes... touch the razor, pull away. touch the pile of pills, pull away. stare into the sink. push the pills and razor into the trash can. walk back to my room, lay down, close my eyes, fall asleep. sleeping with a smile.

Waking in a Nightmare

waking, startled in bed- hearing strange alarming noises. many things go through the mind, fear, wonder, curiousity. throw the blankets away, roll out of bed, open the door. a hellish world awaits. demonic images surrounding, creatures wanting, grabbing. eyes glaring, seeing right through all. everything falling apart, crumbling. wanting to turn around and go back, unable to stop from watching. a slight scare, jumping back in the doorway- door slams shut warm air rushing over the skin. pushing, falling to the floor. cover eyes in fear. awake to a new day, sun shining, warm breeze. appreciate the day, dread the night- for what hells haunt the sleep, only the nightmares know...

that will do for now. if you want more, tell me. i have lots more. hehe