once upon a time...
Please Read :(
I'm starting to feel really bad with myself. I feel like i'm no good for anyone and that i'm a fuck up and all i seem to do to people is do things wrong. Sometimes i think I'm a bitch, but I don't mean it. I just tell people how I really feel, and I just be completely honest with people. But sometimes it just feels like being honest is actually getting me into trouble, people think i'm being a bitch because of it, but who wants liars?! I don't want to lie, i just tell the truth. There was this person i could talk to, but i think i've fucked things up... once again. I dun wanna loose him as a friend, but i feel like I'm a total failure and I wouldn't even blame them if they didn't want to be friends... But is it really my fault? Am i overreacting? At the moment i just feel worthless and really bad thinking that he might not even talk to me anymore... HE says he cares heaps, but it's hard to think he really does when the rest have just turned their backs on me :( I just want to feel normal for once. I 'm going to talk to him and see if he hates me or something, but when i know, or think i've done something wrong, i go into this stage where i get so low i feel like killing myself and it's really not good. I get that low, i stay like that and i feel bad for days.. :(
So i'm asking, how do i get out of all that shit? How can i learn to overcome the fear of all that, thinking when i've said something they hate me... that fear, i wanna overcome it.. And what should I do? NOT be honest and just NOT tell people how i feel? :( Leave them all behind and learn to forget that bad stuff? But how do I do that? Forget..... I can't do that. It's so hard.. I'm trying, but I need help! Please help me! :(
